All Kinds Of [Un]perfection

The tears I cry
are black from the makeup
I hide behind
And I'm feeling
all kinds of unperfect
in my own skin
my dreams are screwed up,
lyrical disasters,
implying questions I
don't want to ask.
Why can't I be what
everyone needs?
I want to be his Venus,
her Athena,
instead I am only
the goddess
of me.
Not beautiful,
not wise,
but somewhere inbetween
just doing my best,
struggling,
to stay in this unperfection
that is me.

Help Me, I'm Dying

You lied.
If I didn't hate myself before, I do now.
But for the things that you just said to me,
I think I might hate you.
Because you don't understand.
You like to think you do.
And you like to think that everyone has
Skin as thick as steel, like you.
But I'm just a girl.
And you forget that I have feelings.
And this poem sucks
But it all needs to be said.
Or I'll never be able to get you out of my head.
And then you would feel sorry for me.
If you're going to spare a thought for me,
I'd rather it was hate than pity.
I don't need pity.
From you least of all.
I trusted you.
You lied.

Letting Go

I guess I'll never know
how it would feel to be yours
not your fault
but solely mine
My head is fighting my heart
and reality cuts like a knife
through the hallucinations
that this could ever be
I feel like I've lost a part of me
Even though you weren't mine to lose
but these tears don't know that
and that would explain
why they're smearing my makeup
trying to change my mind
but I've got to let go
and just so you know
this wasn't my decision.
I could've stayed forever
in the fairy tale I'd created
but it's not right
and I don't deserve you
I have to let go.

Lyrical

*Note- This one is also kind of weird, I attempted to write a poem using only lyrics and titles of songs... whatever.*

I wish I wasn't toxic baby
he hates me
I'm like oh, somebody,
have mercy,
it wasn't me.
you make me sick
I'm giving up slowly
Don't, the stars will cry
standing in the rain
see what it is
this is my hangnail
do something now
insatiable, like a damsel in distress
I love to love you
It's like
always thinking of you
almost perfect.

Facade

*Note- It's funny the things you find when you clean out your binder... this one's kind of lame.*

I believe delusional is the word I'm seeking.
You lied to my face and I believed you.
That's how delusional I was
that up until now, I believed maybe you truly did
love me.
But no.
I'm just delusional.
And now I stand here
watching the water run down the mirror,
distorting my features into oblivian,
so that I'm not seeing me in the mirror.
I see someone else.
I don't recognize her, the way she smirks and smiles
She's delusional.
She shows no compassion to this ugly person,
watching her in the mirror.
She just giggles and winks, putting on a show.
She doesn't want to be lonely
but it's my only escape
the shell that I wear to guard against mistakes.